“Most of my mates are already married and I have been pressured to get married but the Lord restrained me. The day I got my visa, the Lord used one of the servants of God I know to prepare to meet my special friend in a beautiful place. He wasn’t aware of my travelling to this country but God confirmed what he had repeatedly revealed to me. One of the funniest things that happened to me was a pair of shoes one of my friends bought for me. In fact, he told me to wear it on my wedding day. It was a weird appearance but I know God was telling me it’s time to settle down.”
“What’s the size of the shoes?”
“43… Don’t mind him. He is such a funny guy.”
Debby couldn’t hide her shock but still asked about his plans in life.
“I’m a chartered accountant working in a reputable company and desire to be what God wants me to be.”
“Any plan of working in this part of the world?” Debby asked.
“It depends. I love my job and have travelled to some countries within Africa and beyond. Accounting is paramount and no wonder we will give account of how we spent our lives on the day of judgement.”
“Hmnn… On the day of judgement…” Debby sighed.
“Yes! In marriage, the account of the lifestyles during courtship will be audited by the husband and wife during marriage. It’s better to show the real account of one’s life rather than waiting to be detected in marriage and it may prove disastrous.” Dennis explained
Debby remembered how she hid her identity during her final year in the university and entered into a wrong relationship. She understood the wisdom in his counsel and asked another question.
“What if there’s a new revelation or new perception of life after courtship?”
“That’s why trust is an important virtue in every relationship. We value it in our dealings with other organizations and it fosters productivity and understanding.” Dennis said.
“You are right. Understanding is another key. Understanding the purpose of a thing can help us to know what to do or what not to do.” Debby added.
“Exactly! Understanding the purpose of a relationship will help the persons involved to know the core values and their boundaries.”
“Core values like what?” Debby asked him.
Dennis smiled and replied, “Core values of beliefs, ambitions, perceptions, flexibility, knowledge and so on. The core values should be discussed and understood before taking any meaningful relationship to the next level.”
Debby was getting interested in the discussion and decided to probe further,
“Can you please discuss each point?”
“They should believe the same thing. This includes; God, biblical doctrines and faith. Ambitions in the areas of education, career, acquisition of skills and legal pursuits in life. How they perceive life, including marriage matter. Do they believe in the biblical truth of one man and one woman until death do them part? Flexibility in handling the matters in the home and approach to challenges is equally important. Knowledge of each other, knowledge of marriage, knowledge of God and life will go a long way to define the depth of joy that can be experienced and enjoyed in marriage. Knowledge is power which can be used extensively in maintaining balances in the family.” Dennis explained.
“That’s great! You also mentioned boundaries. Can you explain?”
“Boundary is real or imagined line that marks the limit of something. It’s the same in every meaningful relationship where each person knows how far he/she can go in words, actions, thoughts and locations.”
Debby asked him to expatiate with a ready mind to learn and know his thought.
Dennis cleared his throat and continued,
“Demeaning, deceitful, dicey, dreadful words should be avoided. Hitting a woman or a man is disgraceful and unbiblical. Engaging in pre-marital sex is ungodly and should be avoided by God’s grace. In summary, an action that can’t be praised openly or godly should be avoided. A believer’s thought life must be guided by the Spirit of God and purified by daily reading of the Word of God. Biblical Lot chose to dwell in the land of Sodom and eventually lost his possessions there. God’s protection is only sure where a believer is guided and directed. Location matters to a believer in Christ Jesus in order to be fulfilled…”
Debby cut in, “Can you relocate for the sake of love?”
Dennis responded with a smile, “Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go.”
“How about for the sake of love?”
“God is love. God is in love and love is in God and that flows like Cash flow in accounting.” Dennis said with a smile.
“Cash flow is the revenue or expense expected to be generated through business activities over a period of time. So, when spiritual activities are done with God’s love over a period of time, the generated revenue of love will be available to go anywhere and do exploits.”
They laughed over his accounting analysis. Dennis seized the opportunity to bare his mind with godly conviction.
“I will be trsveliing back day after tomorrow. Debby, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Debby raised her bowed head sharply and looked elsewhere to avoid eye contact with him.
“Debby, take your time to pray about it and let me know your decision. Some of my friends called me sharp shooter and this is one of my weaknesses. I don’t linger whenever I’m convinced about something. I get things done accordingly. But take your time and be convinced.”
Debby managed to smile and ask,
“Can you marry an old and used cargo?” Debby asked reluctantly.
“Old and used cargo? I was also a used cargo battered by sins and the devil but Jesus Christ has transformed me. I’m a new creature carrying the load of joy, peace and all-round blessings. Whoever is in Christ Jesus is no longer an old and used cargo.” Dennis confessed positively.
Debby paused for a moment before asking him another question,
“Can you marry a woman whose womb had been tampered with?”
Dennis looked at her passionately,
“Why are you scared? Why are you bothered? He that is without sin, let him first cast a stone. Glory be to God for our salvation through Christ Jesus. We are serving a living God who can do all things. Debby, old things have passed away…”
“Behold, all things have become new.” She completed the Bible verse.
“Exactly! Don’t dwell in your past…”
She interrupted him, “But you just said one must be open before taking any serious step in a meaningful relationship?”
“Yeah! You have done the right thing but…” He stopped when he saw the fear on her face and he asked her for the reason.
Debby was reluctant to answer him but he insisted. When Debby had gathered enough courage to speak, she brought out a…
To be continued in Episode 39.