HOW TO RELATE WITH FATHERS!!! – Pastor Bimbo Animashaun


(Critical Lesson For Young Ministers)

By Pastor Bimbo Animashaun

Ever seen someone who came to you for mentoring but ended up “mentoring” you?

Ever seen someone who came to you for discipleship but ended up being your “discipler”?

Ever seen someone who walked up to you for counselling but ended up “counselling” you?

Ever seen someone who came to you to be fathered but ended up “fathering” you?

Ever seen someone who came to you to be taught but ended up “teaching” you?

Ever seen someone who walked up to you to learn but ended up “leading” you?

Ever seen someone who came to listen to God’s wisdom in your life but ended up doing 99% of the talking?

Well, I have seen quite a number in ministry, and quite sadly, I’m still seeing that trend in the younger generation.

In ministry, no matter what you know, if you don’t know the proper way to relate with people, especially with those above you, you may not go far.

To be perfectly sincere, I understand that some of these are based on some factors ranging from:

  • Innocence
  • Ignorance
  • Arrogance
  • Overbloated zeal
  • Showmanship
  • Youthful Exuberance
  • Defective Ministerial Upbringing
  • Etc.

By God’s Grace, I’m not given to stereotypes; I don’t just conclude on people. I try to understand people well before forming opinions about them.

I have seen young ministers who are very sincere but really they’re sincerely wrong and I have also seen cases of outright insurbodination and intentional arrogance.

Whichever way it is, I believe ministry is one field of life that has zero tolerance for assumptions – we can’t really assume that all ministers have a firm grip of basic ethical codes of conduct.

That’s why a teaching of this nature is very important to fill ethical gaps in ministry practice.

For one thing, when you’re dealing with or relating with fathers, then you do it ON THEIR OWN TERMS, not on your own terms.

I see lots of young ministers make a gaffe in this area – they want to stylishly and systematically force fathers to relate with them ON THEIR OWN TERMS but that’s a grave error.

A well-trained young minister will adjust himself to the schedules of the fathers; he doesn’t dictate their schedules for them.

He doesn’t dictate their terms for them. For instance, if a father asks you to send him an SMS or chat him up on WhatsApp, don’t put a call through – it’s a rookie young minister who does that!

And when you’re privileged to be with them, allow them to do the talking more except you’re asked to say things.

Go meet them more with QUESTIONS not REVELATIONS except the discussion makes allowance for that.

If you’re given 15 minutes to talk with them, don’t say, “Haaah, that’s too small Sir. Don’t you know that I have a lot of things to say Sir?”.

Now, that’s a BLUNDER and your constant use of “Sir” will not exonerate you from that kind of a MISFIRE.

The Word tells us to OBEY and SUBMIT to those that have the rule over us – Heb.13:17.

In principle, that act of submission makes adjustment inevitable.

You SUBMIT to their authority as they follow the leadership of Christ continually.

One major SKILL that younger generation of ministers in the Body of Christ should learn to develop is HOW TO RELATE WITH FATHERS.

Another horrible thing that I have seen in my generation is a gross and wholesale ABUSE OF ACCESS AND PRIVILEGE.

Young men and women abuse access and privilege granted them by fathers in the Faith and other senior ministers.

Because by privilege, you have the private contact of a senior minister and you just intrude into his schedules abysmally.

And then you call him by 2am, he picks your call out of deep sleep just for you to say, “Daddy, I just want to hear your voice Sir. It’s been a long while that I checked on you Sir. I’m really missing you Daddy”.

At 2am? Case closed! That’s just an example of how people abuse access and privilege.

Sometimes you put a call through and your call is not responded to and you get angry and offended.

Now that’s nothing but SELFISHNESS. You didn’t even give the man of God a benefit of doubt on any level at all.

You don’t know what he was doing or even what he was going through as at the time you called.

How many people have unfriended their destiny helpers on Facebook because of offences stemming from a mishandling of these issues?

Can you imagine you have been trying to get a father in the Body of Christ for the past two years with no headway?

Eventually after two years, you’re standing before the man of God, and he tells you, “My son, I have ten minutes to spend with you”.

You can either angrily tell him that, “But Sir, I have been trying to reach you for two years. Ahh Daddy, this is unfair Sir” or say something like, “Thank you so much Sir for this priceless privilege” and so on and so forth.

The ball is in your court. And somebody will come and say, “But Jesus had no protocol around Him”.

Okay now, when the syrophonecian woman came to meet Him, didn’t the protocol people try to talk Jesus into sending her away but His personal intervention made a way for her? – Matt.15:22-28.

Didn’t the protocol people try to prevent little children from coming near Him but He personally gave them access? – Mk.10:13-26.

We’re not talking about this today but for the sake of people who always make a mountain out of a molehill.

Protocol makes for the smooth running of the system and it prevents ABUSE OF ACCESS AND PRIVILEGE.

It is now up to the New Testament minister not to build a “complex” protocol around himself but a very “simple” system of protocol that is Christlike.

By God’s Grace, I’m not an “emotional” minister who is afraid of what people will think or say; I believe in preaching and teaching THE FULL COUNSEL OF GOD and HOW TO RELATE WITH FATHERS is part of it.

It’s not heroworshipping anyone but doing things decently and in order – 1 Cor.14:40.

We have great fathers and leaders in the Body of Christ to learn from.

Remember when Pastor Poju Oyemade had an Instagram LIVE CHAT with Pastor E. A. Adeboye – the whole thing lasted for twenty-five minutes I think.

It was just seven questions for Baba and nothing more, nothing less.

I personally would expect that young ministers would learn from why the interview did not last longer than that yet that pocket of time was FULLY MAXIMIZED.

You see, you don’t control the schedules of the fathers; you relate ON THEIR OWN TERMS.

Pastor E. A. Adeboye was in Dad Hagin’s office many years ago alongside three other people and Dad Hagin asked each of them what they wanted.

Pastor Adeboye asked for “EVERYTHING” that Dad Hagin carried and he got it and the difference is clear today.

Elisha followed Elijah to Gilgal down to Bethel down to Jericho and then down to Jordan and he eventually got double portion of the anointing while his colleagues stood afar off expecting the father to relate with them ON THEIR OWN TERMS – 2 Kgs.2:1-15.

Elijah didn’t go back from his journey; Elisha had to follow suit and the rest is history.

Unless a minister does not have conscience; that’s when he would tell you that you allow those above you to play your card.

You will have to deal and relate with fathers ON THEIR OWN TERMS as they exemplify Christ to you, not the other way round.

Many of the fathers understand this principle so well; it is left to our generation to tap into their wealth of knowledge and experience and bury our ego.

If a young minister can master this principle, there’s hardly anything to my mind that he will not have the capacity to learn in ministry.

I trust this is a blessing Sirs and Mas?

Exceeding Grace!!!

First Posted on the 16th of June, 2020






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